We know I am not a fan of emotion in business… I found this today and thought it was interesting… I was asking myself… why is it that negative posts, blogs, people seem to attract more of the same. I really think that if I were to get nasty the blog traffic would increase. Why is that I wondered? So I decided to search a little.. Can we not help ourselves… do we all just love a train wreck? I dunno… but I did find this interesting…
For the FULL article and all credit, please see: http://headrush.typepad.com/creating_passionate_users/2006/04/angrynegative_p.html
Emotional Contagion
Steven Stosny, an expert on road rage, is quoted in Restak’s book:
“Anger and resentment are thet most contagious of emotions,” according to Stonsy. “If you are near a resentful or angry person, you are more prone to become resentful or angry yourself. If one driver engages in angry gestures and takes on the facial expressions of hostility, surrounding drivers will unconsciously imitate the behavior–resulting in an escalation of anger and resentment in all of the drivers. Added to this, the drivers are now more easily startled as a result of the outpouring of adrenaline accompanying their anger. The result is a temper tantrum that can easily escalate into road rage.”
If you were around one or more people with a potentially harmful contagious disease, you would probably take steps to protect yourself in some way. And if you were the contagious one, you’d likely take steps to protect others until you were sure the chance of infecting someone else was gone.
But while we all have a lot of respect for physical biological contagions, we do NOT have much respect for physical emotional contagions. (I said “physical”, because science has known for quite some time that “emotions” are not simply a fuzzy-feeling concept, but represent physical changes in the brain.)
From a paper on Memetics and Social Contagion,
“…social scientific research has largely confirmed the thesis that affect, attitudes, beliefs and behaviour can indeed spread through populations as if they were somehow infectious. Simple exposure sometimes appears to be a sufficient condition for social transmission to occur. This is the social contagion thesis; that sociocultural phenomena can spread through, and leap between, populations more like outbreaks of measels or chicken pox than through a process of rational choice.”
Emotional contagion is considered one of the primary drivers of group/mob behavior, and the recent work on “mirror neurons” helps explain the underlying cause. But it’s not just about groups. From a Cambridge University Press book:
“When we are talking to someone who is depressed it may make us feel depressed, whereas if we talk to someone who is feeling self-confident and buoyant we are likely to feel good about ourselves. This phenomenon, known as emotional contagion, is identified here, and compelling evidence for its affect is offered from a variety of disciplines – social and developmental psychology, history, cross-cultural psychology, experimental psychology, and psychopathology.”
[For a business management perspective, see the Yale School of Management paper titled The Ripple Effect: Emotional Contagion In Groups]
Can any of us honestly say we haven’t experienced emotional contagion? Even if we ourselves haven’t felt our energy drain from being around a perpetually negative person, we’ve watched it happen to someone we care about. We’ve noticed a change in ourselves or our loved ones based on who we/they spend time with. We’ve all known at least one person who really did seem able to “light up the room with their smile,” or another who could “kill the mood” without saying a word. We’ve all found ourselves drawn to some people and not others, based on how we felt around them, in ways we weren’t able to articulate.
So, Robert’s choice makes sense if he is concerned about the damaging effects of emotional contagion. But… that still leaves one big issue: is “catching” only positive emotions a Good Thing? Does this mean surrounding ourselves with “fake” goodness and avoiding the truth? Does surrounding ourselves with “happy people” mean we shut down critical thinking skills?
March 7, 2007 at 12:57 pm
This article hits it right on the head! The saying “misery loves company” comes to mind. I totally agree that if I became more negative, I would get more “hits”. People love drama, mainly because most of us are normal people, with normal lives. If there is a comotion, we want to be “in” on the secret and are ready to pick a side.
As to your question about surrounding ourselves with fake happiness, I think that is just as damaging as negativity. Eventually you realize it is fake and everything good you got out of it is now a lie. You can usually tell when someone is “faking it til they make it” or what not. It is never as fulfilling as a person who truly inspires you with results and makes you feel that you can do it too. This is why I think going to meetings and having running buddies is important. Surrounding with ONLY positive people can be very hard…that is why we must learn to control our self-talk and make sure we are one of the positive people in our lives and stop depending on others to make us happy. This is something I am trying to learn right now.
March 7, 2007 at 5:14 pm
Ok so I received the following post and did not want to approve it but decided to post it – my reasoning for that is that I don’t feel like having to actively moderate discussions (I am working over here..) and I don’t want to poof anyone. Not sure I know how… don’t really want to learn.
The question is valid though so I will post it for her/him:
“Gail posts:
So you don’t suppose that all those “negative” women are on negative websites because there are thousands and thousands and thousands who have been screwed by MK?”
Since you ask what I believe… or don’t believe…
I do not believe that Mary Kay the woman screwed anyone. I don’t believe that Mary Kay Corporate screwed anyone. I believe that a person representing Mary Kay may have screwed someone.
I also believe that there are great points in the article above. I also believe that people continue to engage in poor behavior when in an environment that is tolerant or encourages it.
No one here has ever denied that people have gotten a raw deal in the Mary Kay business but there will definitely be opinion as to who is ultimately responsible for the outcome and decisions thereafter.
There is a great post on personal responsiblity here: http://mypinktruth.wordpress.com/2007/02/23/personal-responsibility-is-not-a-burden-its-a-blessing/
March 7, 2007 at 6:57 pm
not Gail again! At least she did not curse this time!
March 7, 2007 at 6:58 pm
oh… she did over on mrules..
why do people have to curse?
March 7, 2007 at 7:10 pm
its a sign of a limited vocabulary
March 7, 2007 at 7:12 pm
**giggle**
**sigh**
March 7, 2007 at 9:34 pm
Great points!
This MK business is completely and totally made up of human beings. There is not one perfect human being. Therefore, perfection ain’t gonna happen. If a person expects perfection from others, that person is guarenteed disappointment. If a person expects perfection from this MK business, well, again disappointment is guarenteed.
March 8, 2007 at 9:00 am
Hi Myst!
Been a long time since I’ve given my two cents! Since I’ve had a change of heart about MK, I’ve refreshed my sense of optimism. I can’t wait until this hoopla over MK is over. The cat-fights, name-calling and micro-debating are getting so old… Did I mention how juvenile a lot of the posts are…. (long sigh)
March 8, 2007 at 9:11 am
Krizzle!!! Awww girlie! I was just thinking about you the other day!
Welcome back!!!
March 8, 2007 at 9:49 am
Changed companies and it requires high levels of attention to details. Step up on the career ladder, I’m super excited!! I’m a success coach for college students. Company flew me out of state to train and put me up real nice. I figured I can’t coach others to success with a stinky attitude about MK or anything else in life…
March 8, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Krizzle – THAT IS AWESOME! You go girl!!! Hopefully you will do a lil’ o’ that coachin’ roun’ here! 🙂
Congratulations!!!
March 8, 2007 at 7:24 pm
Good luck Krizzle with you new endeavor you are always welcome around here.
March 9, 2007 at 4:20 pm
Thanks for all the well wishes. Things are going well, though the learning curve is steep! Have a great weekend!
March 9, 2007 at 4:36 pm
My sister is facing this at her office right now! They have a new Administrator who has never managed people before, but got the job on her skills base alone. Now they are up in arms and complaining to the boss, instead of behaving as adults, letting her know their concerns, and working in a non-emotional way. My sister, who is NOT a direct report, is finding herself sucked into the negative atmosphere. Funnily enough, the previous Administrator took about three years to get to start communicating effectively with her people (currently on maternity leave), but they seem to forget that she was no great shakes before. smile Everyone is talking about “quitting if she doesn’t get booted out” … now there’s a mature attitude! and my poor sister is being infected by the stupidity. Hopefully, the Big Boss will let the Administrator know she needs to work on Communicating with Employees 101, and give her a chance to develop those skills. Hope the ship doesn’t sink, taking everyone down with it, while she is learning, AND that any positive results will be equally contagious.